My apologies to anyone who follows my blog. I'm sure there are not many of you out there, in fact I can probably count you all on one hand, but my apologies still. For some reason or another, Blogger decided that I could no longer log in with my Yahoo account. I thus had to recreate my blog, copy and paste every single one of my posts (all two of them!) and begin anew here. The site looks similar but the URL and title have changed. As have I over the past few months. Probably will blog again very soon. Feeling the need to express myself with many-a-situation.
Happy Thanksgiving to all, and to all a good night!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Rivers
Original post date: Monday, October 4, 2010
Breathe. Wow. Silence. Contemplation. Satisfaction.
Have you ever had that moment after you've read a really great book? And by "great" I don't mean something that was only entertaining. I mean something that ate at your soul and challenged your very existence? Not many books do that. Actually, I can probably name them all on one hand. There's something spectacular about a story when Truth is presented. Yes, Truth with a capital T. There are great epic battles and swooning romances and engaging action stories, but what lies at the base? Mostly its simple truths that regard all challenges that every human faces. Which is what makes them good! But not great. Greatness is reserved. For what, though? For Truth. And who or what is Truth? Only Christ.
I recently read a book series called the Mark of the Lion. Overtly Christian, yes. But it has changed my life. I picked up the first book the other day and have read the first two (it's a three book series, but the third book is a bit different about different characters. I'll let you know how that one is when I finish!). If you're reading this blog, you are well aware that I don't read. Pretty much ever. It takes much for me to try a book and even more to continue past the first chapter or so. Exhibit A: my previous roommates challenged me to try the Harry Potter series. Nope. No way. No how. Not gonna. How can a series be that good? Really?! THAT good? And the whole world population agrees that these books are great? GREAT? How do that many people have good taste? "People" as a group aren't that educated, sophisticated or savvy enough to all agree on something that is actually great. To take a quote from Men in Black: "A person is smart. People are dumb." And it's true! But I was wrong. For those of you who haven't read the series, I won't give anything away. But as a former unbeliever and one who is a true skeptic of all things literature, I humbly request you try reading Harry Potter. There's something so Truthful about someone willing to give up there life for others to live. Sound familiar?
Back to the Mark of the Lion series. I had tried reading the first book, A Voice in the Wind, a year or two ago. Read the first chapter... eh. I didn't get into it. I'm not exactly sure why. My sister then began reading these books with some of her friends in a book club a few weeks ago and prodded me to try again. Nope. No way. No how. Not gonna. Not interested. She knows me though... "But Alli, these books are so romantic! You'll just swoon!" She won. I'm such a girl.
I tried again and pushed through the first chapter or so. OK, cool. Historic fiction. Fall of Jerusalem. Ancient Rome and all its glory. Cool cool. Hot Roman. Extra cool. Suffering of the early Christians... cool. Wait, what? Not cool! What the hell? Death. Destruction. Famine. Disease. Slavery. Terror. OK, so not cool. A young Jewess, Hadassah, is captured in the fall of Jerusalem and sent to Rome as a slave. A prosperous family buys her and God tells her to bear witness of all His greatness. Hold the phone... whaaaaa? His greatness? Shut the front door. After all that? Yes, He says. How? Silence. Damn it! (My words, not Hadassah's.)
It's difficult to put into words what this book has done for me. It's given me courage. It's given me comfort. It's given me perspective. God speaks in the wind, in the darkness, in the loneliness and emptiness that becomes Hadassah's life. Your will done, Lord. Not mine. Never mine. Even if it leads to death? Destruction? Yes, even so. I can't be that brave. I'm not brave. I'm not a super Christian. I don't know if I really believe. Do I believe? I do... I know I do. But yet: doubts. Silence. Both mine and His. Your will, Lord! What is your will? Take courage, young heart, all things work together. Yet even in my unbelief, He reigns. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths" (Proverbs 3:5-6). His grace is sufficient.
Beyond the idea of God having control of all matters, this book has pushed me to bear more witness. It's given me courage. Don't be afraid. Most people respect others' religions. They won't turn away. They might not hear the Truth in the proclamations, but a seed is planted. Most people aren't rude. They'll hear you out. Maybe be a bit sarcastic. That's OK. Play along. Keep mentioning your faith, but not in a Bible bashing way. Not helpful. People aught to know we are Christians. Do most people know I am one? My Christian friends know I am...
And fresh perspective. Holy moses is that ever needed every once in awhile. It feels like the reaction mentioned at the beginning of this post. Breathe. Wow. Feels like new life! Growing up Christian, I've read the Scriptures many times. Sometimes, they lose their freshness. In fact, a lot of the time they lose their zeal. But this is God's Living Word! How do they lose it? They don't. We do. How far we fall. Except, when we are lifted back up again, we see how refreshing and life-giving they can be! I cannot wait to go home and read the entire book of Ephesians. The second half of the first book and the entire second book take place in Ephesus a little after 70AD. Hadassah is part of that church group. How cool to feel personally connected to the people Paul addressed! To see a glimpse into a fictional characters life that resonates with real history. Takes on a whole new meaning. Can you imagine facing the challenges they faced in Ancient Rome and Ephesus? Those two cities were the cornerstone of idolatry. The Temple of Artemis was one of the most lavish places on earth to worship the gods. And it was part of the Roman Empire. Remember? The Empire that burned Christians during evening parties and threw them to the lions? Good times. Great memories. But God was still there in all of it. And it is seen in this fictional book. And it reminds us that He is still here in all of it. Through my pain. My loneliness. My grief. My joys. My events. My lifetime.
"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." Romans 8:28 (a letter to the Christians in Rome)
Breathe. Wow. Silence. Contemplation. Satisfaction.
Have you ever had that moment after you've read a really great book? And by "great" I don't mean something that was only entertaining. I mean something that ate at your soul and challenged your very existence? Not many books do that. Actually, I can probably name them all on one hand. There's something spectacular about a story when Truth is presented. Yes, Truth with a capital T. There are great epic battles and swooning romances and engaging action stories, but what lies at the base? Mostly its simple truths that regard all challenges that every human faces. Which is what makes them good! But not great. Greatness is reserved. For what, though? For Truth. And who or what is Truth? Only Christ.
I recently read a book series called the Mark of the Lion. Overtly Christian, yes. But it has changed my life. I picked up the first book the other day and have read the first two (it's a three book series, but the third book is a bit different about different characters. I'll let you know how that one is when I finish!). If you're reading this blog, you are well aware that I don't read. Pretty much ever. It takes much for me to try a book and even more to continue past the first chapter or so. Exhibit A: my previous roommates challenged me to try the Harry Potter series. Nope. No way. No how. Not gonna. How can a series be that good? Really?! THAT good? And the whole world population agrees that these books are great? GREAT? How do that many people have good taste? "People" as a group aren't that educated, sophisticated or savvy enough to all agree on something that is actually great. To take a quote from Men in Black: "A person is smart. People are dumb." And it's true! But I was wrong. For those of you who haven't read the series, I won't give anything away. But as a former unbeliever and one who is a true skeptic of all things literature, I humbly request you try reading Harry Potter. There's something so Truthful about someone willing to give up there life for others to live. Sound familiar?
Back to the Mark of the Lion series. I had tried reading the first book, A Voice in the Wind, a year or two ago. Read the first chapter... eh. I didn't get into it. I'm not exactly sure why. My sister then began reading these books with some of her friends in a book club a few weeks ago and prodded me to try again. Nope. No way. No how. Not gonna. Not interested. She knows me though... "But Alli, these books are so romantic! You'll just swoon!" She won. I'm such a girl.
I tried again and pushed through the first chapter or so. OK, cool. Historic fiction. Fall of Jerusalem. Ancient Rome and all its glory. Cool cool. Hot Roman. Extra cool. Suffering of the early Christians... cool. Wait, what? Not cool! What the hell? Death. Destruction. Famine. Disease. Slavery. Terror. OK, so not cool. A young Jewess, Hadassah, is captured in the fall of Jerusalem and sent to Rome as a slave. A prosperous family buys her and God tells her to bear witness of all His greatness. Hold the phone... whaaaaa? His greatness? Shut the front door. After all that? Yes, He says. How? Silence. Damn it! (My words, not Hadassah's.)
It's difficult to put into words what this book has done for me. It's given me courage. It's given me comfort. It's given me perspective. God speaks in the wind, in the darkness, in the loneliness and emptiness that becomes Hadassah's life. Your will done, Lord. Not mine. Never mine. Even if it leads to death? Destruction? Yes, even so. I can't be that brave. I'm not brave. I'm not a super Christian. I don't know if I really believe. Do I believe? I do... I know I do. But yet: doubts. Silence. Both mine and His. Your will, Lord! What is your will? Take courage, young heart, all things work together. Yet even in my unbelief, He reigns. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths" (Proverbs 3:5-6). His grace is sufficient.
Beyond the idea of God having control of all matters, this book has pushed me to bear more witness. It's given me courage. Don't be afraid. Most people respect others' religions. They won't turn away. They might not hear the Truth in the proclamations, but a seed is planted. Most people aren't rude. They'll hear you out. Maybe be a bit sarcastic. That's OK. Play along. Keep mentioning your faith, but not in a Bible bashing way. Not helpful. People aught to know we are Christians. Do most people know I am one? My Christian friends know I am...
And fresh perspective. Holy moses is that ever needed every once in awhile. It feels like the reaction mentioned at the beginning of this post. Breathe. Wow. Feels like new life! Growing up Christian, I've read the Scriptures many times. Sometimes, they lose their freshness. In fact, a lot of the time they lose their zeal. But this is God's Living Word! How do they lose it? They don't. We do. How far we fall. Except, when we are lifted back up again, we see how refreshing and life-giving they can be! I cannot wait to go home and read the entire book of Ephesians. The second half of the first book and the entire second book take place in Ephesus a little after 70AD. Hadassah is part of that church group. How cool to feel personally connected to the people Paul addressed! To see a glimpse into a fictional characters life that resonates with real history. Takes on a whole new meaning. Can you imagine facing the challenges they faced in Ancient Rome and Ephesus? Those two cities were the cornerstone of idolatry. The Temple of Artemis was one of the most lavish places on earth to worship the gods. And it was part of the Roman Empire. Remember? The Empire that burned Christians during evening parties and threw them to the lions? Good times. Great memories. But God was still there in all of it. And it is seen in this fictional book. And it reminds us that He is still here in all of it. Through my pain. My loneliness. My grief. My joys. My events. My lifetime.
"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." Romans 8:28 (a letter to the Christians in Rome)
Nearby Neighbors
Original post date: Friday, September 10, 2010
I'm not a writer. Never have been. But something is so inspiring tonight. I'm sitting in my bedroom, most roommates out for the night. It's Friday. I'm probably going to watch a movie and do some reading until I fall asleep. I haven't been home much this summer. But summer is almost over. It's September 11 tomorrow. Today was the first day I felt fall. It was literally tangible. My toes were tingling from being exposed all day. If I took a snapshot, you'd find me in pink sock-slippers, sweats and a T, entirely wrapped in a pink bathrobe. And I don't even like pink.
The air is so Rear Window this evening. Not as if Alfred Hitchcock wrote the scene outside, but the feeling of watchability is present. (I just made up a word.) Jimmy Stewart and Grace Kelly experience their neighbors lives in that movie. They can hear them, see them, almost feel what each of their neighbors is going through. The music they play, remember the pianist? The laughter they encounter, can't you just see that teeming party on the top floor? If I reached my hand out my bedroom window and my neighbor did the same, we could probably high-five. The houses are so close together in the city. Right now, I hear a movie drifting through my open window. I'm not sure what it is... sounds like a classic. Or at least a black and white film. The sound is crackly; the speech calculated. Can't you just hear it? It's one of the last warm nights where I can keep my window open. This has been one of the things I've loved moving into the city. I honestly like having my neighbors so close. At times its annoying, especially when your neighbors cigarette smoke travels into your room while you are trying to sleep, but most of the time I hear life. Isn't hearing life wonderful? The movie next door. The kids playing on the side walk. The baby screaming. The car door slamming. The Sarah Bareilles music coming from my roommates bedroom. It's all so delightful. And city-ish. I can just imagine Audrey Hepburn leaning out her window and beginning to play Moon River on her guitar. It's not like New York where I can really see anybody seeing that I face the side of my neighbors house, but I hear it. And feel it. And live it. And it's wonderful. And I am so glad I chose to make the move. And be here. Now. In this City of Irishmen. In a neighborhood of everyone. Listening to life, not go by, but being experienced. Whether its the Korean pop from next door, the Italian sway from my own bedroom, or the hip-hop pounding from the screeching car flying down the one-way road.
Do you get it?
I'm most likely not going to write often. I don't like forcing myself to diary, in a sense, if I'm not living or feeling it. But when the time is right, I'll be here. Contemplating. Channeling. Wondering and maybe even philosophizing. (That is a real word.) What I experience, I want you to be able to understand. What I don't understand, I want you, oh invisible internet community, to not understand with me and sympathize. Because aren't all blogs just creative narcissism? I hope they are more than that, though. I hope they lead beyond what I'm hearing and typing to connecting and relating. For that is the reason I am here. Not this city, but in this life. In my life. And I'm good at it.
I'm not a writer. Never have been. But something is so inspiring tonight. I'm sitting in my bedroom, most roommates out for the night. It's Friday. I'm probably going to watch a movie and do some reading until I fall asleep. I haven't been home much this summer. But summer is almost over. It's September 11 tomorrow. Today was the first day I felt fall. It was literally tangible. My toes were tingling from being exposed all day. If I took a snapshot, you'd find me in pink sock-slippers, sweats and a T, entirely wrapped in a pink bathrobe. And I don't even like pink.
The air is so Rear Window this evening. Not as if Alfred Hitchcock wrote the scene outside, but the feeling of watchability is present. (I just made up a word.) Jimmy Stewart and Grace Kelly experience their neighbors lives in that movie. They can hear them, see them, almost feel what each of their neighbors is going through. The music they play, remember the pianist? The laughter they encounter, can't you just see that teeming party on the top floor? If I reached my hand out my bedroom window and my neighbor did the same, we could probably high-five. The houses are so close together in the city. Right now, I hear a movie drifting through my open window. I'm not sure what it is... sounds like a classic. Or at least a black and white film. The sound is crackly; the speech calculated. Can't you just hear it? It's one of the last warm nights where I can keep my window open. This has been one of the things I've loved moving into the city. I honestly like having my neighbors so close. At times its annoying, especially when your neighbors cigarette smoke travels into your room while you are trying to sleep, but most of the time I hear life. Isn't hearing life wonderful? The movie next door. The kids playing on the side walk. The baby screaming. The car door slamming. The Sarah Bareilles music coming from my roommates bedroom. It's all so delightful. And city-ish. I can just imagine Audrey Hepburn leaning out her window and beginning to play Moon River on her guitar. It's not like New York where I can really see anybody seeing that I face the side of my neighbors house, but I hear it. And feel it. And live it. And it's wonderful. And I am so glad I chose to make the move. And be here. Now. In this City of Irishmen. In a neighborhood of everyone. Listening to life, not go by, but being experienced. Whether its the Korean pop from next door, the Italian sway from my own bedroom, or the hip-hop pounding from the screeching car flying down the one-way road.
Do you get it?
I'm most likely not going to write often. I don't like forcing myself to diary, in a sense, if I'm not living or feeling it. But when the time is right, I'll be here. Contemplating. Channeling. Wondering and maybe even philosophizing. (That is a real word.) What I experience, I want you to be able to understand. What I don't understand, I want you, oh invisible internet community, to not understand with me and sympathize. Because aren't all blogs just creative narcissism? I hope they are more than that, though. I hope they lead beyond what I'm hearing and typing to connecting and relating. For that is the reason I am here. Not this city, but in this life. In my life. And I'm good at it.
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