Thankfulness

Retrospective outlook hits me around the holidays. I'm going to use this post to let the world know what I am thankful for from this past year. So sue me. I don't care if you think it's cliche :)

~ My house and all my new roommates have been a lifesaving force for me this year. I'm already starting to tear up thinking about you all. As I take a deep breath in and try and control my emotions - I'm currently sitting in our apartment while you're all out and about - I can't help but think how amazing each and every one of you have been in my life. I don't know where I would be. Honestly. Your friendship, your laughter, your time and energy, your encouragement. I can't say enough. Wow - holy moly I can't control myself. I've now begun to literally cry! Deep breath... zen... ahh... OK. You all are such a miracle. This house and its outlook and its strengthening and challenging community has been more than I bargained for - in a good way. Sure we've had our construction challenges and our heat (and closet!) issues, but things are starting to come together in the physical sense. One thing I've noticed, though, is that we came together in the spiritual/emotional sense from the beginning and that is so rare. God so orchestrated this people and our connection that I can't stop thanking Him for what He's provided in this crazy amazing neighborhood we call home. Hoping the next year is just as wonderful!

~ My college girlfriends and the amazing men they've found in the past few years. We've had our struggles and celebrations this year and yet we still manage to make each other important. There are deeper connections with certain girlfriends than with others - that's only natural - but we make the time and stick it out. We're (hopefully!) meeting up again this coming spring and I love that we've started this tradition of at least seeing each other once a year. We're all within (mostly) driving range and I'm so thankful for you, Michelle, Carrie, Katharine, Sarah, Abby and Kate. You've made my memories of college so colorful. The men you've found, Shell, Kate and Katharine, could not be better. They each fit you perfectly and I am so proud that you each waited for that right man. To Carrie, Abby and Sarah (and me!), I know we will be blessed in the same manner! Patience and trust in God, right? ;-)
I love you all.

~ To my family. There are no words. I've cried on the phone with you, laughed over Facebook with you, celebrated holidays and birthdays at home and from afar. I am so thankful that I can talk to any of you about my day, my life and be so honest and open. I'm so proud of my parents and their marriage and family they've raised. Not to boast of my own, but to let them know they have done a fantastic job and raised some fantastic kids. I'm so grateful for my best friend, my sister. I am so happy you are nearby and we can meet up for lunch in Boston or spend a Friday night together on a double date with Ben & Jerry. I love that you have jumped into grad school and are making your life what you want it to be. I love that you are so invested in your friends and are being such an example of a strong courageous young woman in the "big city". I'm so glad that I can talk to you about anything. Danny, you have become such a man of God this past year. I am so proud of you! The discussions we've had and the phone calls we've shared are so meaningful to me. I know you're not the mushy kind, but let me get this out. You are so wonderful and you have grown so much. I am so proud of each and every decision you have made and you are on the right track, dear brother. Some girl will be extremely lucky one day to call you husband. And to the youngest, the joy of our family, Tim. I love you. I cannot believe you are almost halfway through college! I love that you always tell me you love me every time we end a conversation. I love that you give me great big hugs when I see you and that you are always there to let me poke you and tease you. We are still little kids at heart, eh? You are going to make a great man and leader one day. I know it. You are such a gem.

~ To the new friends and church community I've found this year: thank you for taking me in and including me so quickly. Thank you for investing in me and letting me join in this community of Boston. You have shown me what it means to take Christ's words and make them real. How to invest in the poor, the lonely, the angry, the poor in spirit, and in one another! I have never seen such a tangible act of Christianity in my life. Living amongst you and with you has taught me so much in so little time.

~ To my Savior, thank you. Thank you for loving me and accepting me even though I am troubled and weary. I'm not adequate or loving enough. I'm not what I want to be, yet you love me. Why? All I can do is say thank you. You've blessed me so much this year and I am so excited for once in my life to continue on this path You've written out for me. I have learned that You have yet to even reveal the beginnings of Your plan for me and that I need to trust you and be patient. I love where I am now and I would not want it to be any different. I trust you with my future.

Advent and Lost Thoughts

I attend a church in Boston called Reunion. It meets in a hotel in Back Bay and is the epitome of the emergent movement (also known as the emerging church or emergent conversation). And I love it for that. It emphasizes community and social justice, art and narrative. The basis is Jesus but it branches from the traditionalism of organized religion and focuses on Christian spirituality instead of Christianity (thank you Don Miller for the differentiation). I just only recently joined this church, but as a community we've been focusing on a holiday movement lately called Advent Conspiracy. I've attached the video below for your viewing pleasure. Just popping in to blogspot today to share. Not much on the mind. Although, I had a fantastic idea for a blog post yesterday and I cannot remember it for the life of me... I must be getting old. I'm approaching the quarter century mark. Lord help.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVqqj1v-ZBU

Lessons from the Highway

People often say just start writing and it'll come. But what ends up happening is verbal vomit rather than anything poetic on my part. And vomit just isn't quite interesting. Well, it might be to the gossip monger, but not to *my* readers. I know you are all reputable citizens ;-)

There's a lot going on right now with me. Stuff I don't want to quite share on a public blog just yet. Lots of emotion. Lots of thinking. Lots of unknown. I really hate being in my 20s. There's nothing established or rooted about the upheaval lifestyle. It's terrifying. I've moved once a year for 6 years in a row now. I'm getting tired of it. But yet there's no end in sight. I don't know when I will end up where I'm supposed to be. I don't know if this part of life will ever end. I'm on my own for awhile. But thank God I believe in God. This would truly be lonely without his support.

A quick parable I lived this summer: I adore driving. Especially in the summer. Windows down. Wind in the hair. If I didn't live in one of the coldest/snowiest cities in the nation, I would buy a convertible. But that's just not practical. Anywho, on my way down to Pennsylvania in my Jeep this summer, I got stuck in traffic. Now when I say traffic, most of you think rolling between 10-30mph. This is what I'm used to. This was not the case. I was at a dead stop at multiple intervals for 30 minutes or more. It was the worst traffic jam I had ever been in. Disastrous. I found out later that weekend that there had been a sinkhole and they shut down the entire turnpike ahead. The ENTIRE TURNPIKE, PEOPLE. This just doesn't happen. Ever. And I sat there, thinking to myself, "I'm going to miss my best friend's bridal shower." And we had chatted and dreamed about this for years beginning our freshman year in college. We met the first day of orientation. It was a friendship written in the heavens. And I was furious. Furious at the traffic. Furious at the cause. Rottenly furious at myself for choosing this route. And I just sat there. For hours. In the 100 degree weather. The car slowly rolled to a top speed of about 5mph at one point and then the blockade came to a dead halt again. What was I going to do? When would this traffic end? Will the stifling heat, stress and tumultuous inner thoughts stop? Why did I decide to go this route? Will I ever come out of it? Will I be here forever? Will I get to where I want to be? I called my parents one too many times and took it out on them. (Mom and Dad, if you read this, I'm truly sorry. Thank you for bearing with my bitterness.)

And then the traffic cleared.

The highway opened up. We all revved our engines and took off. It was open road. The breeze feeling bloody fantastic in my hair. The speed felt like something out of Top Gun. I arrived at my friend's house and they had waited for me. The shower hadn't even begun and the bride was still due to arrive. I had reached where I was intended to be. At the exact moment I needed to be there. With the people I was supposed to be with. And this realization gained strength as I comprehended the significance of my 8-hour journey.